If you're looking for a good bedtime story, then the lush and luxurious world of 19th century French literature is just the place for you to go. 'The Dead in Love' by French Romantic writer Theophile Gautier is a perfect sample.
It's an archetypal sex and vampire tale. Now, it isn't as directly erotic as the Brides' scene from 'Dracula' but it's subtlety is delicious. I mean really, how can you top three beautiful undead going down on you? If that's Victorian repression, then I don't want to see Victorian excess. Unfortunately, that scene ended in coitus interruptus--but still! Three! Three beautiful undead!
Anyway, the French being a little more badass than the anglos the sex in Gautier is consummated, even if it is off camera. In 'The Dead in Love,' Gautier has written the script for the male fantasy: average guy attracts unconditional and exclusive love of a beautiful sex goddess. Add the dark edginess of female vampirism (with all that sucking sucking sucking...) and meeeowww you've got one hell of a story. You can't beat porn that pretends it's literature.
In sum, the tale is told by an aging priest trying to warn a younger one about the dangers of temptation. Yes, the irony. It is never good practice for someone like a priest to direct someone's attention to the delightful world of utter and complete sexual abandon and fulfillment (that's my job!). But then, that is the point here. So, our priest details how he caught the eye of the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world just at the moment he took his vows. How this woman hunted him down to administer last rites to her, which somehow helped her defeat the grave to return as a...vampire! To feed on him and give him every possible pleasure at the same time. Ah but sadly, an eternity was very short and the priest's killjoy superior destroys the vampire Clarimonde. The end.
Gautier's allusions are sometimes delightful, sometimes puzzling. Clarimonde has apparently died more than once. Wonderful foreshadowing and mood-setting. Ah, the mystery that is Clarimonde. So gorgeous she can defy death. But Clarimonde's blood drinking is presented in two ways: she feeds on our protagonist after he cuts himself accidentally in a way that suggests that she doesn't know that she needs to do this to survive; and she regularly seems to drug our protagonist so she can feed on him. Yes, I know. It's confusing.
The most memorable quote from the story is both a truism and beautiful. "Love is stronger than death." Ok, not original but Gautier's perving it up. He isn't talking about sweet Christian soul-humping kinda love. No, this is dirty decadent I wanna lick your shitty bunghole and cream myself kinda love. "Love is stronger than death...and by the way I wanna drink your blood, baby. You into it?" Fuck, yeah! Bite me! Eat me! Drink me! Just don't let me turn back into a goddam priest!
Read on, gothlings!
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