Sexual orientation isn't innate nor is it fixed but that doesn't make it a choice. I can't decide to like bois today and grrls tomorrow. Our sexual orientation may change but we can't switch from one side to the other.
I like grrls. I can't help it. All the feminine gender signifiers--boobs, curves, soft features--attract me. I'm the product of a heteronormative society where all nascent bodily reactions are directed toward the proper object: the opposite sex. So, what's a poor boi to do?
Well, I identify as hetero but that doesn't mean I have to be straight. I'm bent, not straight.
I don't like that word. Straight doesn't apply to me because it suggests, well, not queer. Straight belongs to the system of heterosexuality because it implies 'normal' and conformist. And it is used that way both by proponents and detractors.
If you're straight, you can't be queer because there's nothing weird, different or othering about you. Straight is about work, elections, savings accounts, minivans, family and mortgages. What could be less radical?
So let's bend it. Make it different. Make it messy, muddled and murky. You don't have to be straight to be hetero.
A bent approach is ready to break down and re-form heterosexuality. Equality is its aim; and it pursues it through the commingling of the sexes.
Note: I've decided to break this post up because it started getting too large. I'll post the other parts over the next week or so.
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